Sex against your will

What is that exactly?

Sex against your will happens when someone forces or pressures you into sexual activities that you don’t want and haven’t agreed to. It’s a serious violation of your boundaries and can happen in different ways.

Here are some examples:

• You’re dancing, and someone rubs against you in a way that makes you uncomfortable
• A family member, like an aunt or uncle, touches you inappropriately
• Your partner pressures you to do things in bed
• Your ex shares a private photo of you without your permission

These are all situations where someone is not respecting your boundaries or your consent.

Obvious or subtle?
Sex against your will can sometimes be very clear and other times more subtle:

• Obvious: Someone ignores your “no” or uses violence to force you
• Subtle: Someone pressures you to have sex, crosses your boundaries when you’re drunk or asleep, or makes you feel like you have no choice

It’s often someone you know
The person who crosses your boundaries is often someone you know, which can be confusing or even make you question yourself. But no matter who they are, your boundaries matter and should always be respected. If someone makes you uncomfortable or disregards your limits, it’s okay to speak up, set firm boundaries, and reach out to someone you trust for support.

Feeling guilty? It’s not your fault.
Many people who experience unwanted sexual behavior feel guilty afterward. They might wonder if they:

• Said or did something to provoke it
• Weren’t clear enough about their boundaries

But it’s important to remember:

• It doesn’t matter what you were wearing or how much you had to drink
• It doesn’t matter if it was your partner or someone you know

Your body is yours, and no one has the right to cross your boundaries.