the first time: what to expect

• Take your time: Start with kissing and touching to build excitement. If something feels good, keep going. If it doesn’t, stop.
• Check in with your partner: Ask them if they’re comfortable and if they’re enjoying it.
• Use protection: Always use a condom, contraception, or both to prevent STIs and pregnancy.
• Don’t fake anything: You don’t have to pretend to enjoy something or have an orgasm if you don’t.
• It’s okay to laugh! Sex can be messy, awkward, or funny—don’t stress about being perfect. 

Does it hurt the first time? 

For some people, their first time is comfortable and enjoyable. For others, it might be slightly uncomfortable – especially if they’re tense or not fully aroused. Sex should never be painful. If you experience pain, stop and communicate with your partner. Arousal, lubrication, and relaxation make all the difference. 

After your first time 

Whether it was great, awkward, or underwhelming, how you feel afterward matters. 

If it felt good: That’s great! Open communication and trust helped make the experience positive. 

If it didn’t feel good: That’s okay too. The first time doesn’t define your entire sexual experience. If something felt wrong, think about what you’d like to change next time – and don’t be afraid to talk about it. 

If you regret it: No judgment. Many people feel this way, especially if they weren’t truly ready or felt pressured. Your feelings are valid, and it’s okay to take a step back and wait before being intimate again. 

Need to talk? If you have questions or feel uneasy, talk to someone you trust – a friend, sibling, counsellor, or doctor. You can also call Ayudo pa Mucha i Hóben anonymously and for free or contact Biba Amor. You’re not alone.  

Your body, your choice 

There’s no right or wrong time to have sex—only what feels right for you. You can always say yes, no, or change your mind at any time. The most important thing is that you feel safe, respected, and in control of your decisions. Sex is about connection, communication, and choice. Take your time, trust yourself, and don’t let anyone pressure you into something you’re not ready for.